Impending Goodbyes…

This one’s going to be a really, really sad post and has been written with just such a state of mind.

Saying goodbye - always the toughest of things to do, isn’t it? Saying goodbye to a job or a place you’ve called home for years or saying it to friends you’ve worked with, studied with or to best friends who’ve left you behind – actually, scratch that, in these cases you never get to say it, it’s just a silent one, from within your own heart. But the thing is that it’s always tough.

It turns out my best friend of years is going to go away. Well, she was always going to go away, once she got married that is. She was always going to settle down abroad. But what’s more striking about this new discovery is that this is something that can be helped, unlike marriage. She’s going to go off to study. And it really doesn’t help that she’s the only best friend I’ve known in a couple of years now. The other one is just so engrossed in her own life that she’s forgotten she ever had a family before her current one, let alone remembering me. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m really happy that she’s happy just not happy that she’s never there for me anymore.

There’re very few friends who create a lasting impact on your life. And there are fewer best friends who manage to motivate you, who would say things like they are to your face, they would thwart you when required, set you straight when you go wrong, encourage you when you need it, and most of all, lend a listening ear to all your rants that would always cheer you up. Going out with friends is the only vent you get from your monotonous life. The way they feel bad about not being there when you got sick but didn’t get a chance to tell them, the sudden plans for going out shopping and for dinners, the long late night conversations over the phone are all the things I’ll really, really miss. I’ll also miss advising her, scolding her when she’s wrong, cheering her up and also the feeling of being important to somebody and making a significant difference in somebody’s life.

Best friends are people you can share everything with. Even the things you would never share with your family because you don’t want to upset them. I’ll miss that the most because only best friends can make up for this. No one else and no other friend can.

Friends are like this ray of hope when you feel you’ve reached the edge of the road. How I’ll manage to survive without this ray of hope in my life is something I haven’t gotten around to asking myself because I’ve been so busy crying my eyes out and fighting this suffocating feeling of loneliness. True, I’ve got other friends. But you don’t call your best friend the best for nothing.

Ok, so there’s still time. There’s still time to build up on some last few pleasant memories; there’s still time to share a few good laughs, some tears and a lot of talks. But it really doesn’t help that she’s gone for Umrah just when I’ll be having my last day in office. It gives me a feel of how it’s going to be when she actually leaves. Although I really hope she enjoys her first trip to Allah’s House to the divine and Blessed experience that it really is.

And yeah, my leaving office is another impending goodbye that seems less saddening compared to this one although it wouldn’t seem that way when that day actually arrives. I’ll be saying goodbye to my office of two years full of all kinds of memories and to the few but precious friends I’ve made here. I will miss you buddies hard and I know you guys know it.

If I’ve depressed you people enough, I’d sign off and leave you to mourn over all your long lost friends and best friends and jobs you’ve left behind. Sharing felt good, though. As a colleague of mine put it, writing can be a relieving activity. That really stands to be very true.